Fun with Metaphors (contains strong language)

Some of these metaphors, I have heard all of my life; others were just born. Some we have all heard before and one is very much saturated in our current vernacular. When I really thought about these, in a literal sense, things got interesting quite quickly:

· Nose to the grindstone – OUCH! If your job was to have your nose literally on a grindstone…what a mess it would make! Ick., Lets all just work hard and keep focusing

1. He wears is heart on a sleeve – Another gross one – and how unsanitary and sensitive…oh, so sensitive.

2. “At the end of the day, its all just peas and carrots…” – Oh dear, imagine it raining down these veggies, every evening? Perhaps, they just mean at the end of the situation, everything will be just mushy and sweet.

3. To add a little color to the situation, let me explain… – Adding color to any situation is usually a good idea, however, please explain how to color in a vocal conversation? Let’s just stick to the facts, Ma’am

4. Cold as a witches tit – If witches were real and we had evidence that all of their breasts are bitterly cold, I would let this one go

5. Windy as a motherfucker – Mother fuckers are people too and therefore cannot be windy

6. It’s a windy bitch – Female dogs cannot be windy either

7. He was soft and cuddly like an armadillo – Have you ever held an armadillo? Me neither!

8. Her voice was dripping with icicles – Voices cannot freeze nor form icicles – however icicles will make you shudder, much like her voice

9. She like, literally floated over to him – No, I like, literally do not believe she did

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